Tag Archives: fuck buddy

ADD, Boredom or Just Old Guys

I always use to think that I had a little ADD. Then again I think diagnosis like that are given out far too easily. Like Autism; I understand it’s real, but perhaps some children just need a little extra attention when it comes to their development. Or ADHD; I think there are plenty of kids AND adults out there who could use a good spanking (or beating in an adult’s case) instead of “talking about” why they are acting like such an asshole and shoving pills down their throat.

I get bored easily. I don’t know if it’s because I like to stay busy or need to constantly have something to do. Then again I have little problem chillin’ at my house on a Friday night with a movie, dinner and some wine.

I couldn’t sleep last night and I had these among mother thoughts running through my mind.

It got me to thinking about these same scenarios of ADD and boredom when it comes to men. Not that Firman and I have the most exciting life at the moment, but he’s younger, more virile, has more energy and is a helluva lot more fun, even at home on a Friday night, than most guys I’ve dated. I use to only date older guys. Then I realized more and more that they’re so whiney, stagnant and set-in-their-ways. For me, it got as old as they were real quick. Even the guys close to my age, just bored the shit outta me after a while. Or I just dated a few others along with them at the same time and just bounced around to the next when they turned into a snooze-fest.  It became a circle of men and when 1 dropped off I picked up another.  I thought it was a problem for me for a while, but I’ve come to realize that I just dated like most men do.

Like the Lawyer. He was a self-proclaimed “weirdo”, but in actuality he was a just socially inept, self-absorbed, prick. All I really wanted was someone to go out with once a week and fuck and he couldn’t deal with that because not only was he not as “sexual” as me (get some Viagra, you’re only 37), but his idea of “very near future” when it came to meeting up was like a month away. What kind of moron, especially an overweight one, turns down a once a week date as hot as me?! It took little time before his bullshit dried me up and I told him to have a nice life. I couldn’t even be friends with someone like that.  Precisely why I’m not friends with Sad Man anymore.

The Marine was another one who made me doze off.  He played games and lied in attempt to be more interesting to himself, was not really that fun to hang out with, only gave me an orgasm about half the time and was another self-absorbed douchebag.

Then you get the guys who are really ready to settle down because they’ve been out there so long.  The too nice guys.  They try too hard and are so cautious they’re mind numbing.

For the most part they all got to be predictable.  Only the older ones though.  At least the younger guys will surprise you sometimes.  So I don’t think it was ever me or my problem, it was them.  They aged way too fast.  Nobody wants to fuck Grandpa.

I think that even though I’m 35 I still feel and kinda look like I’m still in my 20’s.  I have energy and I love to do and try new things.  It’s fun to meet new people.  Sure, I might not give a shit about them once I get to know them, but it’s nice to do different stuff and break away from the norm sometimes.

I came to the conclusion that younger guys are better.  At least for me.  Yes, some are too hyper and annoying, but if you find one in just the right place they’ll be just the right fit.



Anyone who’s ever read this blog should know that I do not believe in the old school, double standard that the vast majority in this world has become accustomed to. Anything a man can do, I can do too and most of the time I do it better.

If a woman is considered a whore because she sleeps with whomever she wants, whenever she wants, why can’t a guy be labeled as such? Why do they get called player or playboy, the man or simply considered the guy every other guy wants to be?  It makes no sense to me.  Just because they have a dick doesn’t make their behavior any different or better than a woman’s.

My friends have always known that I am more of a “Samantha”.  There’s nothing wrong with that and I am not ashamed one bit.  I think the problem that most guys have with someone like me is that not only do I have good game (hell, better game than most of them), unlike them, having to wine and dine, impress and pay out for my dates, I’m the one getting all their shit paid for.  So technically, if you look at it I’m a step ahead.  I get the sex I want without paying a dime.  Sure, you could look at it like a hooker with her John situation with me being the hooker, but at the same time that makes them the John.  They’re the ones paying for sex.  Not me.  Who’s the pathetic one?

The most recent example I’ve come across is a while back when I was leaving a bar Baller coughed under his breath “whore” to me 2ce as I was leaving.  First of all, what a pussy thing to do to a woman (or anybody for that matter) as she’s already leaving a place.  If he had any balls at all he would have said it to my face and not as I was already walking out of the door.  Secondly, I never slept with him and never bought him a drink, but I got him to buy me a few.  In fact, the whole reason he hated me is because I barely gave him the time of day.  I love to put overly confident assholes in their place.  I still don’t see what the big deal is with a guy like that.  He works for his dad because no one else will hire him and he has a fluff job a that.  He claims to be a marketing genius, but I’ve never seen anything remarkable from him, and even though he played college basketball, his stats were shit and he would have never made it pro (ah, Karma).  He’s the stereo-typical, insecure douchebag who has to use childish name calling and bully tactics to try to make himself feel better.  He tries so hard and acts like he’s some sort of celebrity (the Situation comes to mind) yet no one outside this small area knows who he is or even gives a shit.  There are millions of “men” like him all over the world.  Men who are truly confident in themselves and happy with who they are don’t act like that and aren’t scared and intimidated of women like me.

I’d like to create a term or word just as derogatory or worse than the word “whore” to call these guys.  Something that really makes them feel like ass for acting the way they do and see if they like it.  Then again it seems the fact that I don’t care what they think of me and go on about my business and still proudly flaunt the fact I can get more dates in 1 week than they can get in a year, upsets them enough.  How hypocritical of these guys to call me a bad name for doing the exact same thing as them, but better.  If anything they should be coming to me for advice.

It’s funny….you know how many times I’ve heard a guy say, “If I was a hot chick I’d use men for everything and fuck whoever I wanted”?  Then as soon as they meet a woman who does, they get their panties in a wad.  Pussies!

Really? *UPDATED

In the midst of peaceful sleep I get woken up by 3 text messages at 5:45 this morning.  It’s The Smurf. Geeze!  “Do you want your earrings?  I’ll mail them to you…just tell me where to send them.”  I said, “It would be nice to get my stuff back.  Thanks.  You can just drop them off at my office.”  Then he proceeds with, “See, I’m not that bad. You forgive me yet?”  I explained to him that even though he woke me up an hour before my alarm, if I actually get my stuff back then yes, he’s forgiven.  I was never pissed at him anyway, he just annoyed me.  I mean, I just wanted him as a fuck buddy and even after all the messages he would send me he didn’t follow through. He played high school games. He’s an idiot!  He said how he would never take someone’s stuff no matter how much they pissed him off.  Oh, really?  I’m the asshole. OK.  Yes, I was a bitch to him, but in this scenario, I’m allowed.  Also, the last time I got a text from him he mentioned how he wasn’t a thief.  I never even remotely alluded to that at all….to him or anyone and I told him that.  Maybe his subconscious was eating at him?  The stupidity and gall in some people never ceases to amaze me. Then I find out he still only found the 1.  I guess it’s better than nothing.  Maybe I can put it into a ring or something.

Why in the world, a month later, he wants to text me again I have no clue.  I imagine that he has the same mentality as the Marine.  When they’re feeling lonely, horny, whatever they figure, “Hey! I know I was a dick, but girls are easy. I’m sure if I throw in some kindness and an apology, she’ll fuck me again.”  Ya, I don’t think so.  I just want my shit back.

I have a feeling that after today’s texts it will start-up his middle of the night, drunken rantings to me again.  So, when and if he comes by today, I’m going to have to get online after and block his number to prevent future annoyances.  And if he doesn’t come by I’ll block him anyway.  I had already chalked up the whole experience and my earrings as a loss.  I’ll update this post if he comes by today.  If  he doesn’t, I already told you what will happen…blissfull silence.

*Just as I suspected, it wasn’t a guilty conscious for still having my diamond earrings, but a hopeful booty call.  He never did come by my office and drop that off and even had the audacity to text me later in the day to say he got caught up all day at work.  Guess he didn’t see me when I came home for lunch so Fireman could have his way with me and he was driving past my building (which is .7 miles from my office).  Again…idiot!  I said, “That’s fine. If you’re hell-bent on giving that back to me my address is… And BTW…I don’t hate you or anything of the like.  You are who you are. It’s just not my style.  TTYL”  I guess between that and the fact I never responded to his last message earlier that said, “I guess we had too much fun that night.” I haven’t heard from him.  I didn’t feel the need to respond to that.  What am I suppose to say?  Oh ya, we did!  Fuck, I was so drunk the only part I really remember was the morning sex and it was nothing spectacular.  I did block his number though, just in case.  I also added the Marine’s number to that list because I don’t want to see another lie filled message from him either.  It just erks me.

I Sang For My Dinner

I had a really good weekend and thoroughly enjoyed 5 days off. The parties, the food, the good long buzz… I just have a few minor things to report after my road tour.

First off, The Smurf texted me all weekend. How much he wanted me, how pretty I was, blah, blah, blah… We were supposed to meet around 5 on Tuesday after I got back. Well that time kept getting pushed back and I was beginning to think that his excuse was pure word vomit. I’m 100% pretty sure I’m right.  By 9:30 I said fuck it and told him he was too much of a flake for me and to please not text me again at 2:30 in the morning, drunk and horny. I’m over it.

Next, I stayed with a friend the day after Christmas. I spent my Christmas bonus at the mall (and even bought a new nighty at Victoria’s Secret to wear for The Smurf, to which I will now wear for someone else before this year is up, so help me God). We met up and did a little bar hopping. I’d say I had about 8 glasses of wine. We went back to the Inn I was put up at for the night, since his place and roommate were a mess. To make a long story short, I slept alone in my room, but I do recall a serious, short lasting make out session. I clearly was intoxicated because this guy is in no way, at all, whatsoever any one I would ever want to hook up with, ever.  I know he was happy though.  I did get a free night at a B & B, free dinner, drinks and free breakfast.  I suppose in the end though, I did paid for it.

So, aside from waking up 1 morning with a side of slight regret and still not getting laid by The Smurf and dealing with his aggravating ass, I had a fabulous holiday weekend and am very thankful for my friends and extended family.

Wasn’t Expecting That

After a “good morning” text and later on a “how was your day” text yesterday from The Smurf, followed by some sexting all this morning, it seems we’re both wanting the same things right now. A fuck buddy. Also, we’re going out together for New Year’s. No worries on either one of us finding a date and someone to kiss at midnight. In fact, we were discussing my little fantasy about having sex right before it turned midnight and into the New Year. He’s making plans right this moment for us to go somewhere and have a room to stay in.

The only bad part right now, and it may not really be that bad, is he has an interview today about 2 hours from here. If he actually gets the job, I may lose my new little friend. I’m not going to count my eggs just yet though. Besides, the area he could move to (and there is a slight chance with his career, he may not have to move since a lot of travel is always involved anyway) is pretty cool from what I understand. What’s a couple of hour drive for some good sex in a fun city on the weekends? Again, I’m not going to take this to seriously right now. For now, its fun, its good sex and it’s a date for New Year’s.

I can’t help but wonder though, is this my good Karma finally giving me a smidgen of what I’ve been asking for? Could this turn into something more? He’s not exactly the type I look for or normally date. Guess my impatient ass will have to learn to be patient and just ride this one out.

The Smurf

Saturday ended up being a fun night. I decided to revert back to my old ways and say “fuck it” to looking for someone I may want to actually date, and I looked for someone I just wanted to fuck. And it worked. Although I got a little too drunk and lost a pair of earrings, my fear of going so long without sex and becoming re-virginized has subsided. He’s not someone I’d want to date and he definitely doesn’t meet my height requirement, but I wouldn’t mind keeping him around as a fuck buddy. It was fun and he was a good kisser; it was kind of like fucking a horny Smurf.  He was a good size for someone who was probably 5’8″ or so and from what I remember of the night before and the morning sex, he’s someone I could keep on call as needed. He’s cute, drives a nice car, has a house, etc. The fact he had a designer dog (a Laberdoodle) seemed weird to me. First off, what kind of man gets a Laberdoodle? He might as well have gotten a Yorkie or a Chihuahua. Then again, I’m a firm believer in shelter pets and not ever paying money, other than an adoption fee, for an animal. I also think a man should have a real dog, like a Lab or something.  He was going to try to come over last night, but then the text messages dropped off. Maybe I’ll hear from him again and maybe I won’t. Either way is fine by me.

However, I’d like to know how in the hell it is so hard for me to even find a fuck buddy?! Having trouble finding someone to turn into a relationship, I understand, but someone to just sleep with me on a regular basis shouldn’t be a problem. Sure I can be a bit of a party girl sometimes and I love to smoke pot every now and again; I can be a bit of trouble, but I’m not clingy or psychotic, I have a good job, nice apartment, nice car, not to mention the fact I look damn good. I think it’s because I tend to go out with guys my age or older. Older men are whiny ass, pussies with no stamina. I’m on a new quest for a younger man now. One I can teach a few things to; one with no baggage.

I think I’m going to enjoy living with the mentality I had not long ago. I got laid and had more fun when I wasn’t ready for or wanted to find a relationship. I’d love to find a good fuck buddy like I had in the last place I lived, but that seems difficult to find. So, I may just have to settle for fucking someone different every week. After the holidays are over I’ll be hitting the college town 20 minutes away, where I lived before, and find me a nice, young, college boy or one under 30. As long as they have some maturity to them I don’t mind being a Puma (In your 30’s you’re a Puma, 40’s a Cougar, 50’s a Lioness and in your 60’s it’s just wrong).

A bitchy rant OR a healthy venting session. See it as you like.

So, for whatever reason after some time together this week,  the Marine has blocked me off Facebook.  I don’t get it.  We parted on good ways the last time I saw him (in fact he could barely contain himself, if you catch my drift), I didn’t send any crazy texts or messages, hell I didn’t send any at all except 1 and it was nice and it was about sex.  No commitment, no crazy girl talk.  He’s gone mental too!

I would like a man to explain to me why one minute they can be hot and the next cold.  And especially to those extremes.  I at least have the decency to tell a guy to go fuck himself before I disconnect all communication OR make up some lame excuse that won’t hurt their feelings before I send them off to never-never land.

Between him, the psycho Mr. Hottie, a few other strange encounters with the Facebook stalker guys, first dates with online guys and the creepy assholes in everyday life, I have about had it.

Contrary to the normal, “do u like to have ur body held?” and “hey sexy, luv ur lips, wanna hook up?” (yes, most of these guys have learned to butcher the English language) emails I have come accustomed to, I actually had a guy send me a pissy email on Plenty of Fools yesterday because on my profile it says, “If you don’t have a picture I will not reply and if I don’t reply to an email from you, I’m not trying to be rude, I’m just not interested.  It’s either that or I have to tell you I’m not interested and I try not to hurt people’s feelings.  I can be harsh, but not a total bitch.  Do NOT even think about sending me some sexual, perverted email.  Also, if you don’t have a job, live at home with your parents, are over 45 or are under 5’10”, don’t email me either.  This may sound mean, but I know what I want and jobless guys who live at home with mommy, someone shorter than me or old enough to be my dad aren’t one of them.”  Clearly he was jobless, lived at home and was, not to mention, insecure and wanted to sent a stupid ass email  telling me ” LOL your profile is a joke, you think you’re all that…I just think some people need a telling to.” in order to try and pathetically inflate his severely deflated little ego down there.

I’m staying home with dinner and a good bottle of red tonight.  I’m supposed to meet an online guy for lunch or something Sunday.  Let’s us pray that it is not as much of a horror as I think it could be if we even end up meeting at all.  He seems a little pushy and I’m not one to be pushed, especially right now.

“You like being single, don’t you?”

With gay men, it’s all up front and out there.  No questions, no bullshit.  That’s why I adore my gay friends.  Straight men haven’t seemed to have evolved to that level yet.

I moved to my new digs Friday with the help of some of the guys at work.  Yes, Mr. Hottie was one of them.  He wanted me to come over that night and pick him up (so no one from work would see his truck at my place), but I was too tired.  I told him Saturday I would.  Then, assuming because he didn’t get his way, he decided to play his childish games.  And yes, it seriously makes me question his intelligence.  He was saying that he hung out with another woman the night before, then saying he didn’t and he was just messing with me.  When I asked what the point was in doing that, he hung up on me.  Really?!  He called back the next day, Saturday, continuing on with his “mind games”  (I put that in quotations because, again, I have doubts as to how much of a mind he has).  He actually thought that his behavior the night before was justifiable and I was still going to pick him up and fuck his brains out Saturday.  That would be a big, fat NEGATIVE.  He thinks he’s being cool and what he does will get some sort of rise of jealousy out of me.  All it did was annoy me and tell him how immature he is.  I even told him, “Look, I’m a tall, pretty, blonde with long legs and a nice rack.  I can get laid anytime, anywhere and with far less bullshit and hell, even a nice dinner.  I don’t need this from you.”  So, needless to say, but I did not see him this weekend.

The “old” guy, I think I’ll start calling him Marine cuz he is, is making me dinner this week on a night when he doesn’t have his son.  I am going by his place tonight though after the kid goes to sleep because I need to get laid and he’s pretty reliable in that department.  Maybe I’ll make him my fuck buddy since Mr. Hottie has clearly gone mental.  I don’t think the Marine is someone I’d want as a boyfriend.  I keep going back and forth with him.  I’ll give it more time before I make that final decision.  In the meantime, I need a consistent lay that I can go to a couple of times a week.

I have had a lot of people ask me lately “You like being single, don’t you?”  My response is this: “I have learned to love all the perks of being a bachelorette and am very comfortable with myself and my life.  Would I like a boyfriend?  Yes.  Have I found someone who doesn’t totally annoy the shit out of me and make me not want to cheat on them?  No, I haven’t.”

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